Sober Curious and the Transtheoretical Model Stages of Change: How deciding to drink differently can help you embrace recovery
If you’ve found yourself feeling sober curious, you’re not alone. Many people reach a point where they want to drink differently and to explore low- or no-alcohol beverage alternatives to reset their habits, and reconnect with balance, connection, and well-being.
At Crow’s Nest Ranch Sober Living & Outpatient in Truckee–Lake Tahoe, we see sober curiosity as more than a trend. Psychologically, it often reflects a healthy and important shift in motivation that aligns with the Transtheoretical Model (TTM), also known as the Stages of Change Model—a widely used, evidence-based framework in behavioral health and substance use disorder treatment.
What “Sober Curious” Can Really Mean
Being sober curious doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve decided to stop drinking forever. It can look like:
Wondering if alcohol is affecting your mood, sleep, relationships, or performance
Noticing negative consequences and asking, “Is drinking still working for me?”
Choosing low- and no-alcohol choices more often
Trying a break (Dry January, 30 days, 3 months, or more) to see how you feel
That internal feeling—the sense that something needs to change—is often a sign of growing clarity about your relationship with substances.
The Stages of Change (TTM) and Sober Curiosity
The Transtheoretical Model describes behavior change as a process, not a single decision. People often move back and forth between stages before change becomes stable. In substance use recovery, this is normal—and expected.
1) Precontemplation: “I don’t think I have a problem.”
In this stage, a person may not see alcohol as an issue yet, or they may minimize its impact. Sometimes, friends, family, or work consequences raise concerns before the person feels ready.
2) Contemplation: “Maybe I should drink differently.”
This is where sober curiosity and the decision to drink differently often live.
In contemplation, people start to recognize both sides:
The perceived benefits of drinking (stress relief, social comfort)
The costs (anxiety, depression, shame, conflict, health issues, lost motivation)
This stage can be uncomfortable—but it’s also powerful. It’s where insight grows.
3) Preparation: “I’m ready to try something new.”
Preparation is when contemplation turns into planning. You might:
Set a start date for a break
Tell a trusted friend
Look up support resources
Consider outpatient treatment or therapy
This is a key moment: you’re building a bridge between insight and action.
4) Action: “I’m making changes.”
Action might mean:
Not drinking at all for a set period
Removing alcohol from your home
Attending groups, therapy, or recovery meetings
Learning coping skills for cravings, stress, and triggers
Clinically, the shift from contemplation to action is one of the most important transitions in recovery. This is often when people are most likely to succeed, because motivation is present and behavior is changing.
5) Maintenance: “I’m protecting what I’ve built.”
Maintenance is about sustaining progress and building a lifestyle that supports long-term wellness:
Relapse prevention planning
Strengthening community and peer support
Improving sleep, nutrition, and movement
Addressing underlying mental health needs
When “Drinking Differently” Might Need to Become “Don’t Drink at All”
For some people, drinking differently can work. For others—especially those with escalating consequences, loss of control, or co-occurring anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health concerns—moderation becomes exhausting to near impossible.
A common clinical pattern is self-medication: alcohol temporarily reduces distress, but over time it can:
Increase anxiety and depressive symptoms
Disrupt sleep and emotional regulation
Intensify cravings and compulsive behavior
Keep the underlying issue untreated
If you’re sober curious, it may be worth asking:
What feeling am I trying to change when I drink?
What happens when I don’t drink—what shows up?
Is alcohol helping me cope, or keeping me stuck?
Sometimes the most compassionate next step is to consider that the path to balance, connection, and well-being may require not drinking at all—at least long enough to clearly address what’s behind the urge to self-medicate.
Evidence-Based Tools That Support Real Change
At Crow’s Nest Ranch, we use evidence-based, psychoeducational tools and therapies that align with the Stages of Change, including:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Identify thought patterns that drive cravings and relapse
DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Build distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Clarify values and build a meaningful life that supports sobriety
EMDR (when appropriate): Address trauma that may be fueling substance use
Relapse prevention planning: Identify triggers, early warning signs, and coping strategies
We also emphasize the research-backed role of peer support through solely offering in-person group treatment—because connection is a protective factor in recovery. Community support can improve engagement, reduce isolation, and help people stay in action and maintenance.
A Healthy Start: Sober Curiosity as a Doorway to Recovery
If you’re considering a 30-day reset, a continuation of Dry January, or perhaps you’d like to explore being sober for 3 months or longer, that decision often comes from a deep psychological truth: you suspect there may be a bigger life available—one not shaped by substances.
That clarity is not weakness. It’s a sign you’re moving through the Stages of Change.
And if you’re hovering between contemplation and action, you may be closer than you think to finding a true path to recovery.
How Crow’s Nest Ranch Can Help
Our outpatient programs (PHP, IOP, OP) support people who want to explore change with structure, clinical guidance, and support through community.
If you’re sober curious and want to understand what stage you’re in—and what next steps make sense—our team can help you:
Clarify goals (moderation vs abstinence)
Build coping skills for stress, cravings, and triggers
Address co-occurring mental health concerns
Create a realistic plan for sustainable recovery
Next Step: Find Support Resources and Get Connected
If you’re ready to try something new and explore what it means to drink differently—or not drink at all—reach out for a confidential assessment.
Recovery is not just about stopping substance use. It’s about building a life worth staying present for.
Comprehensive assessment and personalized treatment plan
PPO & HMO Insurance Plans, Medi-Cal Nevada County, Medi-Cal Placer County, and private pay options are all available
Flexible scheduling: In-person groups with virtual therapy appointments available upon request
