A challenge built on one idea
Sobriety is an action. Recovery is a culture. That distinction is the whole reason we ran Sober October Together.
Sobriety is something a person does: a decision, repeated. Recovery is something a person belongs to. When we treat it as culture rather than as private self-control, the conversation stops being a membership test and starts being an invitation. That matters, because the people most likely to need it are usually the ones least likely to raise a hand.
So we partnered with Hello Steady, whose Steady Social app gives people a low-pressure place to log a daily activity and share a reflection. The ask for October was simple and deliberately loose. Take small, consistent actions for your own well-being, for thirty-one days, at whatever pace is yours. Do it in solidarity with someone you are supporting. Do it in solidarity with yourself. Or do it because you have been curious and this felt like the month to find out.
No one had to call themselves anything to participate. That was the point.
Sixty activities and three thousand miles away
Margaret Naughton logged more than sixty activities in the Steady Social app in thirty-one days. She won the challenge, and with it a Jones splitboard provided by Crow's Nest Ranch.
She lives in Quincy, Massachusetts. She has never been to our facility. She is not a client, has never sat in one of our groups, and had no connection to Truckee before October.
That is the detail we keep coming back to. A program in the Sierra Nevada ran a challenge, and the person who showed up hardest for it was on the Atlantic coast. Recovery culture does not belong to one town, one building, or one program. It belongs to whoever decides to participate in it.
October also happened to be a significant month for her, in ways we did not know when we announced the winner.
"I was so tired of being tired"
Before answering our questions, Margaret told us where she started.
“My mottos in recent years are "I am the strongest person I know" and "alcohol is not my friend." I marked the first year off on a calendar and failing and restarting is not an option. I had to visualize never walking to the bar or having a drink again.
At first I was like, this will pass and I will be able to again. Then I got to a point where I don't want to ever have that be my life again. I never had a healthy relationship with it and I don't care to. I drank for half my life so I was beyond ready for a change. If I had to do it a decade ago it may have been an impossibly difficult task for me, but I was so tired of being tired.
I'm beyond happy that I no longer need to apologize, check my messages, and make sure I have all my things when I wake up.”
That last sentence is worth sitting with. She does not describe freedom in abstractions. She describes it as the absence of a specific morning routine: the apology, the phone check, the inventory of what went missing. Anyone who has run that routine recognizes it instantly.
The Interview
What made you decide to join the challenge, and what were you hoping to get out of it?
“I decided to join the challenge because I was already logging in daily for the daily reflection and to share my activity for the day. I try to remain pretty private and keep most things off of social media. Steady app is a safe place to share a quick insight into life of people who no longer rely on alcohol or other vices in their lives. I spend most of my time alone so it is nice to share a little piece of my day somewhere.
What I really hope to get out of it is the motivation to keep doing what I'm doing and remain positive, especially as we lose sunlight during the winter.”
Sixty-plus logged activities is a serious month. What did that look like day to day, and did it ever get hard to keep going?
“I did not find it difficult to keep going with the daily check-ins. I used the logging in as a tool to hold me accountable and to not stay in bed all day. What keeps me going is how good I feel. And changing every second of my life was the hardest thing I had to do and I can't do it again.
To remain sober, it helps me to remember that my experiences, feelings and thoughts are not unique or original. Millions of people have gone through the same thing and the brain processes things and healing similarly.
While quitting my vices, I wrote down every thought and feeling I was having so I can look back and read how terrible it was. Luckily, I haven't had to go back and read it, but it's there in case I need to remember.”
Was there a moment during the month where something shifted for you?
“October is a huge month for me. A shift was felt for me on October 15th due to that being my 1,000th day being alcohol-free. In addition, October 20th was my two-year milestone of being nicotine-free. I couldn't celebrate that last year due to my cat having heart failure.”
What is the biggest thing you are taking with you, and has any of it stuck into November?
“The biggest thing that I am taking with me is that I am finally relaxed and feel genuine happiness. It was eye opening and sad when family told me that they can feel my nervousness. So it's the greatest feeling that I may no longer have a nervous energy. So I am not going to stop what I am doing. Life can only continue to get better.
What has stuck with me into November may be heavily influenced by adopting two sibling kittens that instantly welcomed me as their person and caused such a positive shift in my life.”
Would you do it again, and what would you tell someone on the fence?
“I would do it again and will continue engaging with Steady. The daily reflections remind me to stop, take a breath, and appreciate what is around us. Logging a daily activity makes me realize that I am doing more than I recognize and motivates me to continue trying to be better.
Somebody on the fence trying something like this: nothing bad can come of it. You can use it as the break you need or the distraction you need to disrupt a craving or negative thought. It is a safe, judgement-free place with like-minded people who understand. It's not invasive like other social platforms.”
Four Perfect Take Aways From Margaret’s Answers:
Accountability can be small. She did not use the app as a confessional. She used it so she would not stay in bed all day. A daily log is a low-stakes commitment that produces a visible record, and the record does the work. This is the same mechanism behind a meeting schedule, a training log, or a sponsor check-in, stripped down to its smallest usable form.
Not being unique is a relief, not an insult. One of the most useful things she said is that it helps to remember her experiences and thoughts are not original, that millions have been through the same thing and brains heal similarly. Isolation tells people their situation is uniquely bad and uniquely theirs. Recovery culture is, in large part, the correction of that lie.
Writing it down builds an exit you never have to use. She documented every thought and feeling while quitting, specifically so she could reread how bad it was. She has not needed to. That is a record kept as insurance, and keeping it is itself a form of self-respect.
Privacy and participation are not opposites. She describes herself as private and keeps most things off social media. She still logged sixty-plus activities in a month. A space that is not invasive, where the people there understand, is a different thing from a public feed. If you are designing a recovery community, that distinction is the whole design brief.
There is one more thing, and it is not a lesson so much as a fact worth naming. Her October held a 1,000-day mark and a two-year mark, and the two-year one she could not celebrate the year before because her cat was in heart failure. Then she adopted two kittens who, in her words, instantly welcomed her as their person. Recovery is rarely only about the substance. It is about what fills the room afterward.
You do not have to wait for October
The challenge was thirty-one days because October gave us a frame. The frame is not the mechanism. Nothing about a daily walk, a logged activity, or a morning without an apology requires a particular month.
If you want to start now, the model is in her answers. Pick something small enough that you will actually do it tomorrow. Record it somewhere. Find a place where the people understand, and let the record build. That is the entire method, and it works in February.
And if you're not sure any of this applies to you, read her last answer again. Nothing bad can come of it. You can use it as the break you need, or the distraction you need to disrupt a craving or a negative thought.
We will run Sober October Together again. Until then, the invitation stands year-round, because we are not asking people to join for a month.
About Crow's Nest Ranch and Radical Recovery
Crow's Nest Ranch Outpatient provides all-gender IOP and PHP treatment for substance use and co-occurring mental health conditions in Truckee and North Lake Tahoe, California. We are DHCS licensed and Joint Commission accredited, accept most insurance, and are in network with Placer and Nevada County Medi-Cal.
Radical Recovery is our local nonprofit, all-recovery partner working to make recovery options for addiction and mental health resources accessible to the broader community, whether or not someone ever becomes a client.
If you are considering a change, or you are supporting someone who is, reach us at (530) 448-4555 or crowsnestranch.org.
Thank you to Hello Steady and Reconnected Foundation for partnering with us, and congratulations to Margaret. The board is on its way to Massachusetts.
